It's been a long time!

Sorry it's been a long time since I last posted. I've been busy :)

Nathaniel Robert was born on May 12th, 2011 at 8:36 am by c-section. He weighed in at 6 lb 10 ounces. I was so scared to have my second c-section, I cried on the way to the hospital. Damien came with me to check in at 4:30 am, and he left at 6:30 to drop Ben off at daycare. I remember hugging my Ben and wondering (somewhat selfishly?) if I had room in my heart to love the way that I loved Ben. I remember I had asked my Mom the same question.

I had a panic attack after they put my spinal in, I jumped when the needle went in, I was so scared. I felt like I couldn't breathe.

Nate came out and immediately started crying, I was so relieved. They took him over to the corner and worked on him for what felt like forever, he cried the whole entire time and it just broke my heart...but I was so happy I started crying. The nurse wrapped him up and brought him over to me and held him up to my face. "Hi baby," I whispered, and he stopped crying. His eyes popped open and we locked gazes. HE KNEW ME :)

Breastfeeding has been a breeze this time, and Nate has been an extremely happy and content baby, I am happy to report. I love my boys so much :)

On a side note, I have The Fats. I am SO fat now, so one goal I would like to do (if I can squeeze it into my schedule) is to blog about dieting. I have to be careful about dieting due to my past struggles with an eating disorder. I am far too hard on myself...but right now I am NOT healthy. I am 5'4 and I weigh 180 pounds.There, I am out! LOL! I have stretch marks and my stomach is saggy. I just want to be able to run around with my little man without getting out of breath. Plus, I am hoping that eating well will give me more energy.

So... Cheers, here is to my journey to getting healthy!! :)